How Do I Help My Teen with Anxiety?

A Therapist’s Guide for Parents of 13- and 14-Year-Old Girls

Like Carrying a Heavy Backpack, You Can’t Put Down

Your daughter seems tired all the time. Not just sleepy, but worn out. Maybe she’s skipping activities she used to love, panicking over small things, or snapping at you for no clear reason. You’ve tried giving her space, offering support, even Googling your way into the right words, but nothing seems to click. And deep down, you’re wondering:

Is this normal… or is this anxiety?

For many 13- and 14-year-old girls, anxiety doesn’t look like the adults expect. It doesn’t always sound like “I’m anxious.” It often looks like a stomachache that won’t go away. Or a panic over group projects. Or a sudden refusal to go to that birthday party she’d looked forward to for weeks.

Anxiety in early adolescence is like carrying a heavy backpack you didn’t pack, and can’t take off. Your daughter may not be able to explain what’s weighing her down, but she feels it in her body, her thoughts, and her sense of safety in the world.

If you’re reading this because you’re trying to figure out how to help, without overstepping or making it worse, you’re in the right place. This blog will walk you through what anxiety looks like in young teen girls, how teen therapy can help, and what you can do right now to be a steady, supportive presence in her life.

Let’s unpack that backpack together.

What Does Anxiety Look Like?

Anxiety in teens doesn’t always sound like “I’m anxious.” It often speaks through behaviors that seem confusing or frustrating.

Emotional & Behavioral:

Frequent meltdowns or emotional shutdowns
Avoiding school or social activities
Reassurance-seeking: “Are you mad at me?”
Perfectionism or obsessing over small mistakes

Thoughts & Beliefs:

“What if I fail?”
“Nobody likes me”
“If I’m not the best, I’m nothing”

Physical Symptoms:

Headaches, stomachaches, or fatigue
Trouble sleeping or eating regularly

When anxiety becomes a daily barrier, getting in the way of school, friendships, or self-confidence, it’s time to look beneath the surface. Her nervous system isn’t being dramatic. It’s doing its best to manage something that feels too big.

When to Consider Teen Therapy in Medford, NJ

So how do you know when to bring in professional support?

Here’s a simple guideline: If anxiety is interfering with daily life, it’s worth exploring therapy.

Signs include:

Avoiding school or previously loved activities
Escalating self-criticism or emotional outbursts
Persistent sleep, appetite, or physical issues
You feel like you’re walking on eggshells

What Kind of Therapy Works?

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Helps teens challenge negative thinking patterns.
DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy): Offers tools for calming big emotions.
Teen-specialized therapists: Someone who knows how to connect with adolescents; balancing clinical skill with humor, patience, and realness.

Therapy isn’t just for crises. It’s a proactive way to build resilience and confidence.

How to Support Without Overstepping

It’s natural to want to fix what hurts. But anxiety isn’t solved through lectures or pep talks. What your teen needs most is your calm, steady presence

1. Validate Before You Solve

“That sounds really hard.”

“It makes sense you feel that way.”

Validation helps her feel seen, and that calms the nervous system faster than advice ever will.

2. Ask, Don’t Assume

“What do you think would help right now?”

“Do you want comfort, or solutions?”

These questions give her a sense of control in moments when anxiety has taken it away.

3. Encourage Small Acts of Confidence

You can’t carry the anxiety for her, but you can remind her she’s not alone in it. Celebrate effort, not just outcomes. Let her take the lead when possible.

Coping Skills You Can Practice Together

You don’t need to be her therapist. But helping her fill a coping toolbox? That’s something you can do.

Grounding: 5-4-3-2-1

Name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste. It’s a simple way to bring her back to the present when her thoughts spiral.

Thought-Challenging (CBT-Style)

“Is that thought 100% true?”
“What’s a more helpful way to look at this?”

Over time, this helps her separate fear from fact.

DBT “TIPP” Skill

Temperature change (cold water splash)
Intense movement (jumping jacks)
Paced breathing (inhale 4, exhale 6)
Progressive relaxation (tense/release muscles)

These skills help calm the body when the brain is in overdrive.

Walking the Road Together

You don’t have to be an expert. You just have to be present.

When your daughter is struggling with anxiety, it can feel like you’re standing outside the problem, watching her carry something heavy and wishing you could lift it for her. You may not be able to take the backpack off her shoulders, but you can help her unzip it, peek inside, and figure out what’s been weighing her down.

Therapy for teens can be a powerful step toward that unpacking. It gives your teen the tools to name what she’s carrying and the support to begin setting things down, piece by piece.

At Mindful Soul Center for Wellbeing, our therapists are trained to work with teen girls during this delicate window of growth and change. We create a space that feels safe, supportive, and relatable, so your daughter doesn’t have to shoulder it all alone.

If you’ve been wondering how to help, this is your invitation to take the first step.

Ready to Get Started with a Teen Therapist Who Truly Gets It?

If your daughter is struggling with anxiety, you may feel helpless, confused, or even blamed. But the truth is, your presence and willingness to seek support already matter more than you realize. At Mindful Soul Center for Wellbeing, our therapists specialize in working with 13- and 14-year-old girls and the parents who love them. If you’re in Medford or the surrounding South Jersey area and you’re ready to explore how therapy can help your daughter carry less and feel more like herself again, we’re here to help.

Reach out today to get started with one of our therapists in Medford or Haddon Heights.
Explore our blogs for more insights into young adult counseling.
Let’s lighten the load, together!

Additional Services We Offer in Medford, New Jersey

At Mindful Soul Center for Wellbeing, we understand that your healing journey is deeply personal, and our therapists are here to support you with care, empathy, and evidence-based approaches. In addition to EMDR therapy and therapy for college students in New Jersey, we offer a wide range of services to meet you wherever you are in your process.

If you’re struggling with daily overwhelm or overthinking, our therapy for anxiety and stress can help you move through pain and into lasting healing. We also specialize in couples therapy, with a focus on rebuilding trust, improving communication, and creating deeper emotional connection.

For those navigating identity and relationships, our team provides affirming LGBTQ+ therapy in a safe, inclusive space—free from judgment. We also offer postpartum therapy and perinatal mental health support, designed to gently guide new and expecting parents through the transitions of pregnancy, postpartum, and parenting.

Whether you’re exploring your cultural identity, coping with divorce or separation, or working through the lasting effects of childhood trauma, we’re here to help you feel seen, understood, and supported.

About the Author: Michelle Richardson, LCSW

Michelle Richardson, LCSW, is the Founder and CEO of Mindful Soul Center for Wellbeing in Haddon Heights and Medford, NJ. An EMDR Certified and IFS Certified Therapist, Michelle is also an EMDRIA Approved Consultant and an IFS-Informed EMDR Trainer and Consultant. In addition to leading her group practice, she co-founded the Syzygy Institute, where she trains and mentors fellow therapists in the integration of EMDR and IFS.

With nearly two decades of experience, Michelle is deeply passionate about creating spaces for healing, self-discovery, and empowerment. Whether in her role as a clinician, teacher, or guide, she believes in the transformative power of connection. Michelle has carefully built a team of compassionate, skilled therapists at Mindful Soul so that every client has the opportunity to feel seen, supported, and understood.